Feelings are complicated. Relationships are mystifying. It’s frustrating when you don’t even know what you want. For the longest time, I was happy on my own, with no desire to date or sleep with anyone. In fact, I didn’t want to feel bound to anyone. And I didn’t feel comfortable with romantic labels, either, especially […]Read More An aromantic’s quest to find a stable, loving relationship
For Part Three of the Fear of Emotional Closeness series, I will focus on the fear of being hurt if you lose a friendship, the consternation of having to experience the overwhelming and intense feelings of closeness, and the apprehension of having your friend start to “cling” to and become needy towards you. Fear […]Read More Fear of Emotional Closeness Part Three: Being Hurt if You Lose Your Friend, Being Overwhelmed by Intense Feelings, or Having the Other Person Become Needy Towards You
In this part of the Fear of Emotional Closeness series, I will address the fears of being influenced by someone, being disappointed by or disappointing them, and being exposed and vulnerable to this someone. Being Influenced You might be afraid of growing emotionally close to somebody, because you worry that they will influence […]Read More Fear of Emotional Closeness Part Two: Being Influenced, Being Disappointed, and Being Exposed and Vulnerable
One reason some folks may be afraid of emotional closeness, is because they’re scared that they will become attached, dependent, needy, and weak. But what does being attached, dependent and all that really mean? Neediness, Dependence, and Excessive Emotional Attachment For starters, “neediness,” emotional attachment, or dependence, might be about contacting the friend […]Read More Fear of Emotional Closeness Part One: Becoming Attached, Dependent, Needy, or Weak
You may have heard of the much praised and desirable ideal, a “satisfying relationship,” or a “great relationship.” But what does this mean exactly? Here are some of my thoughts. Firstly, there should be happiness in the relationship, where there are many more positive moments than negative ones. The friends should show mutual respect and […]Read More Satisfying Friendships, Emotional or Intellectual Connection, and Emotional Closeness
My friendships have become more satisfying over the years. In my childhood and teens, my friendships were rather surface level, where we just had fun, hung out, and kept each other company to stave off our loneliness. But in my adulthood, my friendships became happier, more profound, and more fulfilling. We have deeper conversations, and […]Read More What is a “Deep and Meaningful” Conversation in Friendships?