Feelings are complicated. Relationships are mystifying. It’s frustrating when you don’t even know what you want. For the longest time, I was happy on my own, with no desire to date or sleep with anyone. In fact, I didn’t want to feel bound to anyone. And I didn’t feel comfortable with romantic labels, either, especially […]Read More An aromantic’s quest to find a stable, loving relationship
For years I’ve been fascinated by the art of diplomacy, how to say even difficult things with sensitivity and respect, how to be gentle, indirect, but also clear. After observing some very tactful people around me, and doing many experiments myself, I’ve gathered a number of tips on how to speak with tact. These tips […]Read More 12 Tips for Speaking with Diplomacy
In this part of the Fear of Emotional Closeness series, I will address the fears of being influenced by someone, being disappointed by or disappointing them, and being exposed and vulnerable to this someone. Being Influenced You might be afraid of growing emotionally close to somebody, because you worry that they will influence […]Read More Fear of Emotional Closeness Part Two: Being Influenced, Being Disappointed, and Being Exposed and Vulnerable
One reason some folks may be afraid of emotional closeness, is because they’re scared that they will become attached, dependent, needy, and weak. But what does being attached, dependent and all that really mean? Neediness, Dependence, and Excessive Emotional Attachment For starters, “neediness,” emotional attachment, or dependence, might be about contacting the friend […]Read More Fear of Emotional Closeness Part One: Becoming Attached, Dependent, Needy, or Weak
My friendships have become more satisfying over the years. In my childhood and teens, my friendships were rather surface level, where we just had fun, hung out, and kept each other company to stave off our loneliness. But in my adulthood, my friendships became happier, more profound, and more fulfilling. We have deeper conversations, and […]Read More What is a “Deep and Meaningful” Conversation in Friendships?
Friends have asked me why I don’t want to be famous. Leila (all names are pseudonyms here) thought it would be awesome if I could be a bestselling writer like J.K. Rowling. Leila didn’t understand that stardom wasn’t what I was aiming for. Another friend, Fanny, believed that everyone wanted to be famous, so she […]Read More For and Against Fame